Parenting Lessons Learned and Advice to Consider May 29 2013

I am not a parent. While I may I have ideas about what kind of parent I’ll be someday, I know that I really can’t plan on being any kind of parent. As the saying goes, “There is no such thing as a perfect parent so just be a real one.” 

With Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, spring is a time to celebrate parents. The moms and dads behind Papersalt books have created this list:

 

Parenting Lessons Learned and Advice to Consider:


- You only have 15 years to parent, all your work is pretty much done in that time.  After that it is just guidance as they are who they are mostly going to be…15 years goes fast!

- The days are long the years are short.

- Hug and love on your child as much as you can.  Even my teenagers are required to give me a hug every morning before school, and a few times during the day.  A hug solves a lot of problems and feels good and is easy!  As they get older and busier it is an awesome connection.  There were times my daughter resented the hugs, after going away to college she said it was the one thing she missed the most.  

- Parents are the leaders, you set the tone.  Watch yourselves!

- When it comes to talking to kids, do not talk down to them, children are very smart.  Do not say too much, children have short attention spans.  Be direct and concise, children read between the lines.  Do not use sarcasm, children do not understand the nuances and edginess of these remarks.  Do use humor and laugh a lot with kids.  Really saying POOP is funny!  TRY NOT TO SAY NO TOO MUCH  Reserve no for when you really mean it, otherwise it loses meaning and power.  Instead of No, just say, maybe, we will see, or not today, or I will think about it.  Lots of different ways to say it.  Do you like hearing no?

- You are in charge.  The child is not in charge and when very young rarely gets to vote or have the upper hand.  Be firm and consistent.  

- If you are getting upset, count 10 or tell your child, you need a break to think about the punishment, or discussion.  The child will understand that and you will be happier for the cooling down period.  

- Kids today have plenty of friends, they need PARENTS.  Don't be afraid to set a high standard and hold your children to it.  Perhaps it's the guilt of so many families where both parents work, no one wants to come home and be the bad guy/enforcer, so they don't dicipline.  Seems like there's so much "light parenting" going on these days, I see adults negotiating with small children all the time.  "We do not negotiate with terrorists"  all little kids are terrorists so its okay to say "we're not going to do that now" and walk away.  Be "in charge" in reality kids want (crave) boundaries, routines and schedules – yes the "schedule is our friend"  just like "sleep is the enemy."

- You can still have fun, really.  Your kids need to know who's in charge, hopefully you haven't made it them.


Parenting advice by Chris and Rita Mohn